Perfect Love Exists
We all long for love that never fades, never fails. We want to give our heart to someone who truly understands us and reciprocates our love in full. But is such perfect love possible?
Bhakti answers with a resounding, “Yes!” with promises to bring us into the ecstatic state that such love awards. To this end, the Bhakti texts point us clearly in a direction. Consider the premise: Perfect love is possible only when we repose our love in the perfect object of love. Doesn’t that make immense sense?
When I first heard this, I thought, “Of course! How could I have missed such a straightforward simple understanding!” Until I found a person who was perfect – a perfect recipient and repository of pure love – I wouldn’t experience real love.
Does this insight strike you in a similar way as it did me? We can realize our ideal love and fill the love hole in our hearts when we locate the perfect object of love. So the goal of bhakti is to connect us with the perfect object of love that we may feel sheltered and experience the full joy of the self.
Understanding the Nature of Pure, Selfless Love
So who is the perfect object of love? Before we try to locate that person, we should understand what is perfect love and how we become vessels of it so we can gain this priceless treasure.
A pure relationship is never a mercantile exchange that calculates, “If I give this much, I’ll get this much.” “I want this, please give me this.” We may turn to our Beloved for shelter in all ways, but we’ll carefully cultivate selfless love and a serving attitude in love. This is the primary characteristic of pure love.
But we may rightly say, Wait a minute! Giving selfless love sounds like a recipe for heartbreak or abuse or both. We’ll need to remember that we’re speaking about a perfect person who is not only worthy of pure love but reciprocates it in kind in greater measure than we can. My full giving becomes a full receiving.
It’s described that in the exchange of love between pure lovers there is a competition to please the other. In that relationship, neither the lover nor the Beloved admit defeat but continually increase their love for one another.
The Soul’s Deepest Need
Such love is ever fresh. We never tire of it. This selfless, unconditional love is triumphant in all respects and completely satisfies all the soul’s needs. My Beloved and I are so tuned to each other that we become one in heart and mind, and our loving exchanges never miss any opportunity to deepen and grow.
Now, Bhakti texts and seers tell us that this love is the natural condition of the self when we’re in connection with the root of our existence, the Supreme Person.
This qualified person is the only person capable of unfailing love and unmatched reciprocation. And to be brought into direct contact with our Source, our love for our Beloved will be unconditional, unmotivated, uninterrupted, selfless, and pristine just as his or hers is for us.
Why Perfect Love Isn’t Possible with Imperfect Beings
If you pause, you’ll realize I just said that this pristine love isn’t possible to have with any conditioned soul of this world. We’re all imperfect and controlled by Time and other forces. But the full manifestation of prema, or sacred love, is only possible when we entrust ourselves to the infallible object of love, that source of ourselves, the Sweet Absolute.
He is undeterred by time – he will never leave us by dying – and he’s wholly capable of accepting what we offer and reciprocating with us beyond what we can give.
It is the nature of prema bhakti to deepen and grow continuously, reaching ever new heights of loving exchanges. Such infallible, pure love is available to us when our heart is pure and soft and our love is offered to the Infallible Lover.
To facilitate this development, two things are required: We must die to the false self and uncover the true self. Only a spiritual practice designed to purify the heart and clarify the consciousness can bring the true self to the fore.
Intense, intimate love is only possible if we know details of our Beloved’s personality, psychology, and qualities. We need to get to personally know our Beloved for love to grow.
Searching the World’s Traditions for the Perfect Object of Love
Okay, we still have to answer the question about who is the perfect object of love. Where do we find details to locate such a personality?
From Buddha we hear that we don’t exist and there is no Supreme. The Jain school doesn’t speak about a Supreme.
Shankaracharya tells us the Supreme is a formless, qualityless all-pervading One. Shintoism and Taoism also lack a personal conception of the Supreme.
Without a personal being, there can be no mutual, growing love.
Guru Nanak promoted devotional love for the One Supreme but stressed the Supreme’s formlessness.
The Abrahamic traditions center on God as the Supreme, but often without detailed knowledge of His personality or activities.
Without those details, love remains general, not specific and personal. To offer real love, we must know what personally pleases our Beloved.
The Perfect Object of Love Must Receive Every Kind of Love
The perfect object of love must be able to exchange love in all manners of expression—friendship, service, parental affection, or romantic love.
This means the perfect Beloved must be capable of receiving and reciprocating all types of loving relationships.
In India’s Shaiva and Shakta traditions, the relationship is that of servant and master.
In the five Bhakti Vedanta schools, we encounter more intimate love with Narayana and Lord Rama, yet still tinged with awe and reverence.
Hanuman’s devotion to Rama is unparalleled service-love, but divine love can go even deeper.
From Vallabha, Nimbarka, and Sri Chaitanya, we learn of the playful, youthful Krishna—the source of Narayana—who conceals His majesty to enable intimate, sweet exchanges of love.
Krishna walks among us, embracing us as friend, child, or lover. He is the all-attractive one, the fountainhead of love and bliss.
Why Krishna Is the Perfect Object of Love
Krishna’s beauty, sweetness, and humility are unsurpassed. He is controlled by the love of His devotees.
By nature, Krishna is love. He is the perfect reciprocator and the eternal Beloved of every soul.
In Krishna, love reaches its fullest expression—intimate, reciprocal, and eternal.
The Krishna bhakti tradition provides extraordinary details about the Divine Person—His form, qualities, and pastimes. Through hearing and remembering, we come face to face with our Divine Friend, the condensed form of love who eagerly awaits ours.
Though many deities are mentioned—Shiva, Durga, Rama, Narayana, and others—Gaudiya Vaishnavism understands reality as one: all are aspects of the same Absolute.
In the next episode, we meet Sri Radha, the feminine feature of the Supreme and the fountainhead of all goddesses.
If this sparked any thoughts or questions please share them below. I hope you continue with me on the journey by subscribing. Until next time, may your search for love lead you to its perfect object. Svasty astu visvasya: May there be good fortune throughout the universe and for you.
